The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?

People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.

I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.

You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.

The bastards murdered half my family.

In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.

Information, long of reach, devastating, and as a side benefit, a substance with no serious legal repercussions, was superior to any other form of power.

1000 mile road begins with a single step, the freedom road begins with a scream that fires the battle, and the greatness road begins with a question that fires the spark of the change.

I'm looking forward to getting back on the field, it's what I love to do.

My head was a magpie's nest lined with such bright scraps of information.

Don't try to win over the haters; you are not a jackass whisperer.

Envy creates the beginning of strife.

I would love to do a television show in New York City.

You are so vulnerably haunting. Your eeriness is terrifyingly irresistible.

My opponent is Short and the match will be short.

While discretion points out the impropriety of my conduct, inclination urges me on to ruin.