The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

Newspapers are the second hand of history.

I am a bit different from the other sprinters because, I would say, I can run many different ways while the other guys they just came on and they can only run one way.

Man is born to live, not to prepare for life.

I'm the same guy at that podium preaching to the people on every single song. I'm not doing a dance for you on another song. It's all a direct assault.

I really enjoy playing that everyman part because that part is us, the audience. And you need somebody inside a comedy to tether the absurdity to reality.

The truest test of civilization, culture and dignity is character and not clothing.

My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.

In most presidential elections, the taller candidate wins.

The Republicans have a habit of having three bad years and one good one, and the good one always happens to be election years.

The heavens themselves, the planets, and this centre Observe degree, priority, and place, Insisture, course, proportion, season, form, Office, and custom, in all line of order.