The margin of error in astrology is plus or minus one hundred percent.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in.

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

He who knows others is learned He who knows himself is wise.

Sometimes a man is intensely, even passionately, attached to suffering — that is a fact.

The unhappy man, who once has trail'd a pen, Lives not to please himself, but other men; Is always drudging, wastes his life and blood, Yet only eats and drinks what you think good.

I'm not sure if that answers the question and I have absolutely no problem with any major world religion on Earth.

You can never compare a stadium full of people to statistics online ... There's something about seeing people's faces, and it's amazing [seeing how] things online can also be translated offline.

Peace is the state where love abides and seeks to share itself.

Even disasters -- there are always disasters when you travel -- can be turned into adventures.

I'm often very relaxed when I'm on the wire.

In the modern world, nationalism remains a very important force. We delude ourselves into thinking that globalization has made all of that redundant and that everyone just wants to be like America.

For a man who has compared himself to Theodore Roosevelt and the nation's challenges to those of the Gilded Age, Obama put forward a tepid agenda.