The martini: the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Choose your sacred-journey.

A woman loves purposeful commitment.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

I personally translated the word 'vendetta' as Italian for 'What do you mean, "you want to see other women"?

Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

Sitting in my favorite coffeehouse with a new notebook and a hot cup of java is my idea of Heaven.

When the path becomes difficult, that's no reason to give up. In fact, it means you're making real progress.

I like Beethoven, especially the poems.

A horrible sense of blackness and the treachery of fate seized hold upon the soul of the unhappy student.

Whether you're religious or not, there is a real need for other people's religious positions to be treated with the upmost respect.