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Mallory Ortberg Quotes: The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.
         

The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.


Mallory Ortberg
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Other quotes of Mallory Ortberg


It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!

It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!



If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is "don't go to potlucks," not "insist other people don't have them."

If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is "don't go to potlucks," not "insist other people don't have them."



Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.

Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.



Depression cannot be overcome by listing a series of good things in one's life, any more than a broken foot can be healed by thinking about all the other bones you have that aren't broken.

Depression cannot be overcome by listing a series of good things in one's life, any more than a broken foot can be healed by thinking about all the other bones you have that aren't broken.



Bad dental hygiene can lead to respiratory infections and an increased risk for heart disease and strokes.

Bad dental hygiene can lead to respiratory infections and an increased risk for heart disease and strokes.



So many people choose silence after the immediate wake of a death out of fear of saying something out of turn or "bringing up bad memories" that bereaved people often feel forgotten.

So many people choose silence after the immediate wake of a death out of fear of saying something out of turn or "bringing up bad memories" that bereaved people often feel forgotten.



There has to be some kind of personal hygiene bar that a person needs to clear in order for a relationship to be successful.

There has to be some kind of personal hygiene bar that a person needs to clear in order for a relationship to be successful.



You can care very much about someone without being capable of becoming their primary caregiver in the event of their parents' untimely death.

You can care very much about someone without being capable of becoming their primary caregiver in the event of their parents' untimely death.



Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.

Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.



It's one thing to be a high achiever; it's quite another to privately sneer at your girlfriend's friends after feigning friendliness because they have the "misfortune" to drive a bus for a living.

It's one thing to be a high achiever; it's quite another to privately sneer at your girlfriend's friends after feigning friendliness because they have the "misfortune" to drive a bus for a living.





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To be really happy, we must throw our hearts over the bar and hope that our bodies will follow.

To be really happy, we must throw our hearts over the bar and hope that our bodies will follow.



Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space.

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space.



Equanimity is the gem in virtue's chaplet, and St. Sweetness the loveliest in her calendar.

Equanimity is the gem in virtue's chaplet, and St. Sweetness the loveliest in her calendar.



Ah, you've come over the water. Powerful wet stuff, ain't it?

Ah, you've come over the water. Powerful wet stuff, ain't it?



You have to work hard, in order to get anything done.

You have to work hard, in order to get anything done.



Meaning is context bound, but context is boundless

Meaning is context bound, but context is boundless



Our green valleys will be greener once we fully grasp the infinite vitality of the green!

Our green valleys will be greener once we fully grasp the infinite vitality of the green!



I attended less than two years of Conservatory in Mexico City.

I attended less than two years of Conservatory in Mexico City.



Quality is decided by the depth at which the work incorporates the alternatives within itself, and so masters them.

Quality is decided by the depth at which the work incorporates the alternatives within itself, and so masters them.



I love weekends. Just like everyone else, I get to rest on weekends and go out with friends. I hate Mondays.

I love weekends. Just like everyone else, I get to rest on weekends and go out with friends. I hate Mondays.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.". Author of this quote is Mallory Ortberg. This quote is about hives, family, bonus, asking, mere, ideas,.