The message of great art is to disturb.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

If you want to see magic, love someone and see the magical transformation.

Employment is nature's physician and is essential to human happiness.

I think 'Game of Thrones' was extraordinary. I want to do some period pieces. It would be lovely to tell great stories, that is my main ambition. And to be working with amazing creators.

Don’t become me. Don’t let her down like I did. You only deserve what you make yourself worthy of. Do what I couldn’t. Be a man.

When it comes time to sit down and write the next book, you're deathly afraid that you're not up to the task. That was certainly the case with me after Snow Falling on Cedars.

I will save the singing for my shower.

I'm afraid I'll lose myself in you, Gideon. I'm scared I'll lose the part of me I worked so hard to get back." "I'd never let that happen." he promised fiercely. Chapter 8, pg 140

Our lives are our mythic journeys, and our happy endings are still to be won.

Wit and woman are two frail things, and both the frailer by concurring.

It's wild how chefs have become like rock stars.