The metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards.

Women say they want a man who knows what a woman's worth. That's a pimp.

When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.

The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.

Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line.

As an American, I'd like to apologize - for everything.

The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

In Montana, a policeman will pull you over because he is lonely.

FOOVIEW (foo' view) n. The ability of a dog to inflict guilt from any angle in the room while he watches his master eat.

Manhandling the open here spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the illegal side.

what is not true does not exist in this moment.

Every human being is been given some assignment on the earth

Planning is the kiss of death of entrepreneurship.

Morning work! By the blushes of Aurora and the music of Memnon, what should be man's morning work in this world?

True wisdom is plenty of experience, observation, and reflection. False wisdom is plenty of ignorance, arrogance, and impudence.

[Donald Trump] was a better candidate; that's how he won.

To live your life without expectation-without the need for specific results-that is freedom. That is Godliness.

When something isn't constantly drummed-up by the media, [people] just don't know about it.

Because we cling to the past we become unavailable to the present.

I wish I got invited to more luaus. I really do!