The method preferred by most balding men for making themselves look silly is called the comb over.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

I wish I had been born a storm. No heart, no tears, just a terrible gale'd been good.

Only solitude means never having to say you’re sorry.

The real point of watching television is to forget that you have a brain.

When I was younger, my family would go camping and fishing on our ranches. My dad loves being around all kinds of animals. He's the one who got me to be a really big animal lover.

From dead plant matter to nematodes to bacteria, never underestimate the cleverness of mushrooms to find new food!

The easiest way for readers to connect with characters and feel sympathy is to make the character entertaining, sympathetic and likeable.

To those of you who seek lost objects of history, I wish you the best of luck. They're out there, and they're whispering.

Christmas is a good time to take stock of our blessings.

Trees have a secret life that is only revealed to those willing to climb them.

No one can resist the idea of a crippled genius.