The more business gets involved, the less fun it is.

Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met

You never hear in the news, "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the north."

If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.

Shouldn't the long-term goal of any society be complete unemployment?

One UK paper described me as a "miserablist", a word I'd never heard before or since. I looked it up and it means someone who can only be happy when they are miserable. Perfect.

I think a lot of women look at prostitutes like they're scabs crossing an union picket line, where they go: You can't just go out and sell it for what it's worth, we're holding out for so much more!

What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to be led.

Love is the spirit of divinity within every man.

We pray that as you walk the paths of life you will walk in ways that are straight with the strength to conform even though those paths be narrow.

I have a shelf of comfort books, which I read when the world closes in on me or something untoward happens

Alone. The saddest word in the world.

I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.

I wasn't much good. When I went into the line on a fake - I would holler 'I don't have it!'

O'er the rugged mountain's brow Clara threw the twins she nursed, And remarked,'I wonder now Which will reach the bottom first?

Wilderness without wildlife is just scenery.

I think you run out of 'I love yous

The world's gotten smaller by virtue of the Internet and new media.