The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Accept yourself in the way you were created by God, do not anyone else

Things exist either because they have recently come into existence or because they have qualities that made them unlikely to be destroyed in the past.

Let us together create the new building of the future, which will be everything in one form: architecture and sculpture and painting.

Whatever is in common is true; but likeness is false.

Let's go and get drunk on light again - it has the power to console.

Does G get angry because it follows F in the alphabet? Does page 68 in a book start a revolution because it follows 67?

The poet is a master of language, the schizophrenic is a slave to it.

Once we've made a decision, we are efficient only if we go through with it decisively, undistracted by doubts about its correctness.

Loving means getting rid of names.

Always store beer in a dark place.