The more you think about it, the more amazing the everyday world of human beings becomes: most of it doesn't actually exist at all.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Don't worry. Life goes on. With or without you. So, live it, while it's given you.

Almost without exception, my novels are rooted in Israel because that's the place I know well.

At my age, I don't think anyone is untouched by cancer.

Spend each day trying to be a little wiser than you were when you woke up.

Better by far to be good and courageous and bold and to make difference. Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you

Elvis and I call up Cadillac dealerships all night long, suckin' down Ny Quil stingers and cheese. He says, what the hell's Lisa Marie thinking with that Michael Jackson crap?

I become kind of obsessive about research.

My parents were gardeners themselves, and perforce they used environmental techniques because it was during the war, and you didn't have the new sorts of chemicals.

Equality is an unconscious assumption, and if you feel you are treating someone as an equal, then you are not doing it.

This terrible tragedy.... the entire international community should unite in the struggle against terrorism this is a blatant challenge to humanity.