The most amusing thing about a pantomime horse is the necessity of having to shoot it twice.

A hundred percent of marriages end in divorce, disappearance or death.

A sniper is like a genius - it’s not enough to be one, you have to be one at something.

One thing you’ll say for skeletons, they’ll always give you a smile.

The optimist sees the future as a rabbit sees the oncoming truck - getting bigger, not closer.

In America, fundamentalist Christians believe the world was created 6,000 years ago - in England people drink in bars that are older than that.

Biting enemies seems to be acceptable in a surprisingly narrow range of circumstances, or so a ninja shouted at me once

We have truth in order not to die of art.

He has been positively growing tusks trying to create a breed of human insect which will continue to live on this accursed planet. Everyone needs a goal.

Dreams always end before you kill the last person.

Fractal litigation, whereby the flapping of a butterfly’s wings on one side of the world resulted in a massive compensation claim on the other.

Celebrate God daily by celebrating His creation

The way you perceive your Self is what enables, or disables, you.

No, Mama. The sweetest hallelujah will be when Billie can walk in the front door of any place she pleases, and nobody will tell her she doesn't belong.

I have survived two wars, two wives and Hitler.

Talking about adversity that I've walked through in my own life or hearing an artist talk about their own adversity makes me feel vulnerable.

If I wasn't acting, I would probably be working with children. I was a camp counselor growing up and I loved it.

Never stop moving, or you'll stop moving. I go to dance class every morning, and it's just good to stay strong; I like being healthy.

Sing, my tongue, the Saviour's glory, Of His Flesh, the mystery sing; Of the Blood, all price exceeding, Shed by our Immortal King, Destined, for the world's redemption, From a noble Womb to spring.

The man who seeks revenge is like the man who shoots himself in order to hit his enemy with the kick of the gun's recoil.

Finding out the truth is only half of it. It's what you do with it that matters.