The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

To show courage you must be in tune with your core values, understand your own fears and desires, committed to your integrity and tenacious in your ability to live it all in the face of oppostion.

I want no men around me who have not the knack of making friends.

Your car should drive itself. It's amazing to me that we let humans drive cars... It's a bug that cars were invented before computers.

When times get rough, keep your head up.

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.

Buddy Holly and the early rock 'n' roll was no lighter than the way I play. It's very minimal.

We become Godlike to the extent we realize nonviolence, but we can never become wholly God.

My goal is to never stop growing.

My life so common it disappears and sometimes even music cannot substitute for tears.

I've got the big name, but I've always wanted to be in a band, one of a band.