The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

There is a period for hope and one for mourning.

Sometimes we want to keep the battle going...until at last we we cut ourselves free. I don't forgive you to give to you, I forgive you to give to me.

Fear is an excellent motivator.

It's really important to have balance, spend some time in nature, go to a few parties, enjoy my friends and really chill out.

I have money, but my most important capital is the trust of the people.

It is not more vacation we need — it is more vocation.

If we are in a high enough state of consciousness we see that life is only a passing dream.

If there are amazing graces on this earth, I believe that they are these good children sent to us by God and not yet soiled by the knowledge that their nation does not love them.

Betty took him for a walk in the zoo and he was amused by her evident belief in the curative power of animals. She seemed to think that it must steady him to look at a buffalo.

Filmmaking is something I have to do. It's not something I particularly want to do.