The most important lesson in the writing trade is that any manuscript is improved if you cut away the fat.

If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one may admire his courage but not his judgement.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future.

Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

Fear could move mountains if fear only tried.

Most of the deaths before seventy years old in our world, could actually be prevented if the various individuals had only treated their lives with more caution and sense of value.

The foundation that my parents and grandparents instilled in me is unyielding, especially the principle that teaches me to keep God first in all I do.

The form of a town changes more swiftly alas! Than the heart of a mortal.

Banks are run by executives, and executives protect themselves, and that does not always mean that banks are going to behave rationally.

I only take vitamin B complex. Before World War II, I used to take ionized yeast, because in the pre-war era we never heard about vitamins.

I tell jokes for a check; I'm on TV for a check.

It is a general rule of Judgment, that a mischief should rather be admitted than an inconvenience.

My life is my statement and I try to be true to myself and thusly to other people. Whatever my failings are, they are human and I try to perfect it each day.