The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation of being well-to-do.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Prune the ill branches so that a tree grows.Prune the dilapidated buildings so that a city flourishes.

People are like waves of the ocean, some cover you with tides of refreshment, whilst others drown you in floods of turmoil

It's good that I managed to hoodwink so many people. I am actually not that nice a person.

Love is a flame neither timid nor tame.

It's pretty easy to kind of lose your way. Having kids is really helpful. They kind of disabuse you of the notion of your greatness pretty quickly.

In church, sacred music would make believers of us all — but preachers can be counted on to restore the balance.

I'm a believer that some messages are not meant to be shared publicly. They're meant to stay inside the clubhouse.

Classism and greed are making insignificant all the other kinds of isms.

There's been a boiling down of real emotion into a set pattern instead of individualism.

I love my family; they're such great people and they really love what I do.