The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

He was the average mortal. It troubled him to get used to the world one way and then suddenly have it turn different.

The structure of the universe is a computational geometry that is fractal in nature.

I also know I'm not going to stay away. I'm going to grab onto her and let myself get cut. I'm good at pain. I'm good at bleeding, emotionally and physically.

You struggle alone. But rejoice in success with many.

One of the best things about being an adult is the realization that you can share with your sister and still have plenty for yourself.

Religion is a great force - the only real motive force in the world; but what you fellows don't understand is that you must get at a man through his own religion and not through yours.

You cheat yourself when you don't do what it is you're supposed to do. You have an obligation to learn everything that you can.

People need to be re - sometimes we need to reinvent ourselves and then get reacquainted with our better selves.

Rich with the spoils of time.

Responsibilities gravitate to the person who can shoulder them.