The natural progress of the works of men is from rudeness to convenience, from convenience to elegance, and from elegance to nicety.

Cucumber should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.

Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.

When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

Classical quotation is the parole of literary men all over the world.

A man who uses a great many words to express his meaning is like a bad marksman who, instead of aiming a single stone at an object, takes up a handful and throws at it in hopes he may hit.

There are minds so impatient of inferiority that their gratitude is a species of revenge, and they return benefits, not because recompense is a pleasure, but because obligation is a pain.

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.

He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts.

The lower the class of the affair, the more likely the band will be invited to eat.

I am a people watcher and I have a very good memory.

Time misspent in youth is sometimes all the freedom one ever has.

Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.

If you lay one hand on Simon, vampire, I'll have you chopped up into tiny pieces and fed to my cat. Understand?

Even in the darkest moments, light exists if you have faith to see it.

I like sporks. They're like spoons, but you can poke people with them.

I want to do more movies. I feel like it's a totally different skill set than there is to theater. It's much more internal.

Anything easy teaches you nothing! To learn something, have some difficulties!

The more you think about it, the more amazing the everyday world of human beings becomes: most of it doesn't actually exist at all.