The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be indignant about them.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

To be a success, love what you do and what you love.

The greatest excuse you must have is the excuse to do your best to the very best and in a distinctive manner

Nihilism is a subject for comedy.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

One must be rich in thought and character to owe nothing to books.

We may not be able to offer long-term employment, but we should try to offer long-term employability.

The only kind of trouble I've ever been in is when I was stealing eggs when I was little. I think I know right from wrong.

His heart; some long word at the heart. He is dying of a long word.

You have a choice every moment of the day to open yourself up. And when you do that, it opens the channels of love.

I entirely appreciate loyalty to one"s friends, but loyalty to the cause of justice and honor stands above it.