The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

All history is but the lengthened shadow of a great man.

There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I've made a great living doing the things I want to do.

Not really. I'm not a fan of Chinese food

This power that I'm supposed to have over women was never noticed when I was a stage actor on Broadway. I don't know when I got it. And by God, I can't explain it.

I wanted to go to Rome. I got an offer to do an Italian film and I went.

I feel the greatest gift we can give to anybody is the gift of our honest self.

Reality TV looks more like America than movies do.

Our lab had always refrained from keeping our studies secret.

All spiritual practice must be directed to the removal of the husk and the revelation of the kernel.

The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once. Be patient. You are healing.