The odds are six to five that the light in the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train.

The human hand is made complete by the addition of a baseball.

May you look back on the past with as much pleasure as you look forward to the future.

Airplane Law, The: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

Allen's Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.

Abrams's Advice: When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time.

A businessman needs three umbrellas - one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.

No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can always be used as a bad example.

Abbott's Admonitions: (1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know. (2) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.

A system tends to grow in complexity instead of simplicity, until the resulting unreliability becomes intolerable.

In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.

Everything does not happen for a reason. Believing this does not ease the pain for anyone. It hides it.

Kissing her to keep her quiet was the best idea that he’d had all week. One hand drifted into her loose hair as she responded to each kiss, while the other caught her waist and held her close to him.

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age.

Satire works best when it hews close to the line between the outlandish and the possible - and as that line continues to grow thinner, the satirist's task becomes ever more difficult.

I am certain and have always stressed that the destination of mankind is to become more and more humane. The ideal of humanity has to be revived.

Outside the street's on fire in a real death waltz between what's flesh and what's fantasy.

She supposed that all those years of loving a person who was dishonest had taught her a few things.

Your behavior determines, to some extent, the destiny of your nation and your group.

American authors or scientists are prone to consider the wealthy businessman as a barbarian, as a man exclusively intent upon making money.

Forty percent of my ideas came from my wife.