The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent's handshake.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Be like the flower that gives its fragrance to even the hand that crushes it.

This is the time to be super aggressive

Just like writers can have a lot of different styles, so can readers. It's hard to pigeonhole book buyers.

When I dress up for events, I prefer Marc Jacobs and Dior. But I dream about wearing Chanel one day.

Looking at my life, it's very clear to me, I lived so selfishly.

Nobody else took what I was doing seriously, so nobody would want to work with me. I was thought to be a bit eccentric and maybe cranky.

Some men are great enough that they can love a whole woman, and not just part of her.

Our songs will all be silenced, but what of it? Go on singing.

Good manners are a part of good morals.

I think if journalists were responsible for international policy we'd have a nuclear war every week.