The older you get, the more you realise how happenstance... has helped to determine your path through life.

To Be Successful You Don't Need Beautiful Face And Heroic Body, What You Need is Skillful Mind And Ability To Perform

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

I'm not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.

But I always feel that whatever I do, I could do better. I suppose it is perfectionism.

I want to express myself in a different way. I have a performing inclination.

I can be reasonably funny and light-hearted when I'm in the company of good friends, but I'm not a jokesmith. I tend to be quite serious.

Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.

Art is something that nobody laughs at and nobody makes any money out of is the attitude, which I would dispute.

The path of my life is strewn with cow pats from the devil's own satanic herd!

When I was doing Bean more than I’ve done him in the last few years, I did strange things - like appearing on chat shows in character as Mr. Bean.

We hear rumors of a man who leads a rebellion in the forest, determined to drive the invader out. It's said wherever wolf howls or hawk cries, he appears.

Too bad for the storytellers. Too bad for the sense makers, the apologists, that nothing, then or ever, nothing was inevitable. It's just too bad.

No man can be satisfied with his attainment although he may be satisfied with his circumstances.

Now our biggest environmental problems come from our own actions, our own choices, rather than pollution produced by big business.

Everything about me remembers everything about you

Education and the workforce: I think these two things go together in terms of human potential.

It is you who are choosing, in any moment, to be happy or choosing to be sad, or choosing to be angry, or forgiving, or enlightened, or whatever. You are choosing.

Modeling is being a ho, but making it fashion.

The media and their journalists are merely megaphones for stupidity, the verb par excellence.

England is safe, if true within itself.