The one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the Republicans are completely worthless.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

Listening and showing you are there for someone is often more important than trying to find a "fix" for a problem. I wish there were more people who practice this.

He only is exempt from failures who makes no effort.

Design has taken the place of what sailing used to be.

College is part of the American dream. It shouldnt be part of a financial nightmare for families

Rule of thumb: Be skeptical of things you learned before you could read. E.g., religion.

If you can see yourself doing something, you can do it. If you can’t see yourself doing it, usually you can’t achieve it.

In F-111, I question the collusion between the Vietnam War, income taxes, consumerism, and advertising.

We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.

I never saw so sweet a face. As that I stood before. My heart has left it dwelling place ... and can return no more.

A drunkard would not give money to sober people. He said they would only eat it, and buy clothes and send their children to school with it.