The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.

When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.

Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.

Whatever success I've had, I always like to top it.

You can't change what happened. Just like you can't change the future by worrying about it. You just have to keep moving.

When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take 'em.

I'm not afraid to fail. Sometimes when you lose, you win. Sometimes when you win, you lose.

I can't build myself by beating somebody down.

Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you've learned your lesson.

If you mess something up, remember who got you there. Don't be pointing fingers, even if finger-pointing is called for. Only one you got to blame is your own self.

You know you poor when you eatin' breakfast food late. You fryin' toast? At nine o'clock at night? With bacon? You're broke.

Optimism is essential to achievement and is also the foundation of courage and of true progress.

When it comes to the American dream, no one has a corner on the market. All of us have an equal chance to share in that dream.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

Corporations cannot commit treason, nor be outlawed, nor excommunicated, for they have no souls.

In time they could not even fly after their hats. Want of practice, they called it; but what it really meant was that they no longer believed.

Who passed Wall Street deregulation that enabled the meltdown of Wall Street and the disappearance of nine million jobs, the theft of 5 million homes?

People confuse being world No. 1 with winning a Major championship.

Death is not a tragedy to the one who dies; to have wasted the life before that death, that is the tragedy.

Pursue not the outer entanglements; Dwell not in the inner void; Be serene in the oneness of things; And dualism vanishes by itself.

Often when we think we are knotting one thread, we are tying quite another.