The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Even the tiniest of flowers can have the toughest roots.

A novelist must believe he can outdo himself. Or his creative drive would die.

Being a leader is not about finding ways to get others to serve you, but knowing how to serve your followers.

Pray for your own deliverance from your own vicious thoughts.

Atheists determine there is no God based on their own intellect. I've determined there is a God based on His intellect.

Help for the Haunted

The fact that I seem to prefer seals over any other animal brides is something I hadn't actually realized until this moment. Perhaps it's because there's a lot of very cool folklore about it.

I'm always doubting my work, even when people are kind enough to say good things. I still have a hard time believing I've written some books, let alone that they've actually done pretty well.

It is absolutely stunning. You cannot read numbers that communicate what the reality is. That's part of what I'm trying to get across and that's partly why I use video.

there is a pernicious tendency to make the opinions of the expert prevail by crowd methods, to rush the people instead of educating them.