The only end of writing is to enable readers better to enjoy life or better to endure it.

Cucumber should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.

Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.

When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

Classical quotation is the parole of literary men all over the world.

A man who uses a great many words to express his meaning is like a bad marksman who, instead of aiming a single stone at an object, takes up a handful and throws at it in hopes he may hit.

There are minds so impatient of inferiority that their gratitude is a species of revenge, and they return benefits, not because recompense is a pleasure, but because obligation is a pain.

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.

He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts.

Whatever you can become will ultimately be destroyed. Only what you already are can't be taken away.

Careers go in cycles. I've plateau-ed. I've been at the bottom of the ocean... You win some, you lose some.

Men don't like nobility in woman. Not any men. I suppose it is because the men like to have the copyrights on nobility -- if there is going to be anything like that in a relationship.

Curb Your Enthusiasm, is not so much about Hollywood. It's more about Larry's weaknesses.

One can measure the greatness and the moral progress of a nation by looking at how it treats its animals.

You are beginning to see that any man to whom you can do favor is your friend, and that you can do a favor to almost anyone.

I love people and entertaining. The fact I can still do it, and it's with my wife is phenomenal. I wanna reach 95 years!

Life is a lease and God is the landlord.

People here want the team to win and to do well. The thing is, we know when to shoot the puck.