The only good Indians I ever saw were dead.

If I owned Texas and Hell, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell.

I have never in my life taken a command into battle and had the slightest desire to come out alive unless I won.

Always make your opponent think you know more than you really know.

I don't care a damn for their guns, or you either, sir! What I want is the Southside Railroad!

Play the gayest tunes in your books, play them loud and keep on playing them, and never mind if a bullet goes through a trombone, or even a trombonist, now and then.

Life is a divine adventure.

Critics are loud, but success is louder.

Nowadays you don't go around on the street kicking people, punching people - because if you do (makes gun shape with hand), well that's it - I don't care how good you are.

Such a Big miracle in such a tiny baby. Big things often have small beginnings A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.

Imma sip until I feel it, Imma smoke until it's done.

I didn't just invent saying offensive things.

Private confession was not ordered by Christ and was not used by the apostles.

The man who is free from credulity, but knows the uncreated, who has cut all ties, removed all temptations, renounced all desires, he is the greatest of men.

How foolish to think that one can ever slam the door in the face of age. Much wiser to be polite and gracious and ask him to lunch in advance.

Beware of the person who can't be bothered by details.