The only good excuse for not succeeding is DEATH! Unless you're trying to be a ghost. Then it's LIFE!

Blanket statements are always stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!

During a heat wave every dude stinks.

Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun but you will die!

It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.

Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.

Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.

The good thing about living like me is everywhere you go is a step up.

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.

Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time.

There is little more I can add short of dissecting the man, or going into intimate details such as the modest proportions and slight southeasterly curvature of his manhood.

Nothing is easy. To change or to accept changes is difficult.

Grace is the ability to accept change. Be open and supple

Myrnin said softly. "And how is it that you do not understand that HERE, in THIS place, this girl belongs to me, not to you?

To think is to be sick.

'Tis the white stag, Fame, we're a-hunting, bid the world's hounds come to horn!

Sisters are the true friends who ask how you are, and then wait to hear the answer.

Our strength often increases in proportion to the obstacles imposed upon it.

It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels.

The world has not just "turned upside down". It is turning in every which way at an accelerating pace.