The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Your success and significance in life is tied to the unleashing of the greatness in you.

I kept trying to talk myself out of my second thoughts when they were trying to help me. My advice? When it comes to relationships, second thoughts should be promoted.

Major sports are major parts of society. It's not anomalous to have people who love sports come from other parts of that society.

Flowers make me irrationally happy.

I reread "Ball Four" by Jim Bouton, the father of all sports books. Aside from that, and books like "Out of Their League" by Dave Meggyesy, sports books generally pull their punches.

My style is all to myself.

I give people If You Came Softly when they demand proof that novels for teens can be as good as the best novels for adults.

If being a decent soul is being maternal, then fine. I'll call it human.

I always call myself a "student" of the guitar.

Orange? Like Effie's hair?" I say. "A bit more muted," he says. "More like sunset.