The only people who hate escapism are jailers.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

The reason domestic pets are so lovable and so helpful to us is because they enjoy, quietly and placidly, the present moment.

Life is like a combination lock; your job is to find the right numbers, in the right order, so you can have everything you want.

There is a rowdy strain in American life, living close to the surface but running very deep. Like an ape behind a mask, it can display itself suddenly with terrifying effect.

Of course he loves me. I’m his sister.” “Blood isn’t love,” said Magnus, and his voice was bitter.

I have a fine lot of telescopes. I have one with which I can see the Mountains in the Moon.

I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience; they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'

Anything that you want to write about you can write about in sports.

Curious how often you Humans manage to obtain that which you do not want.

We're going to play better, and we're going to play harder.

Compared to Imelda Marcos, Marie Antoinette was a bag lady.