The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

It is safer to beg than to take, but it is finer to take than to beg.

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Over and over I'm on the point of giving it up.

I'm a fun father, but not a good father. The hard decisions always went to my wife

The most difficult in the world must be easy in its beginning.

I have never understood the Iowa caucus.

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.

Life is incredibly short, yet we're always told that change takes time. For a race of mortals, dicking around just isn't acceptable.

Religions are all alike- founded upon fables and mythologies.

I don't know what it means to be out there against the Olympics.