The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend.

The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.

Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known.

Make me into anything, but just love me.

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.

When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves.

We'll be remembered more for what we destroy than what we create.

People are all over the world telling their one dramatic story and how their life has turned into getting over this one event. Now their lives are more about the past than their future.

You can only hold a smile for so long, after that it's just teeth.

Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something.

Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.

Value supported family and friends.

Oh no. I'm not gonna let you leave yet. I'm gonna show you the value of takin' your time to get to work. I probably should have done this a long time ago.

The student will try to defy the master. Always.

I hope Donald Trump doesn't become president of the United States and I expect the people of the United States will have the good sense not to elect him.

For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror which we are barely able to endure, and it amazes us so, because it serenely disdains to destroy us. Every angel is terrible.

Lord, protect me from my friends; I can take care of my enemies.

Today, and everyday, take as your personal mantra: I am what I am and what I am is wonderful.

It is silly to call fat people "gravitationally challenged", a self-righteous fetishism of language which is no more than a symptom of political frustration.

Respect the delicate ecology of your delusions.

Entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity.