The only suggestions I get on my plays is to make them more of what they already are, and that's wonderful.

The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons ... were the fatties.

I had great difficulty in school interacting with others, and I took refuge in the contrived setting of play acting, which is what I still do.

I grew up in a secular suburban Jewish household where we only observed the religion on very specific times like a funeral or a Bar Mitzvah.

Every character I play has to be the hero of his own story, the way we're all heroes of our own lives.

I have an iPad and I watch three things: 'The Daily Show,' '60 Minutes,' and 'Meet the Press.'

No compliment is ever sufficient and every insult, of course, is true.

I have one female fan. But she lives with me. I'm not aware of any others.

Society will decide after the technology is created what we will and won't accept.

The happiest moments for me, creatively, are doing readings of a play around a table where there's no audience.

People ask me what my hobbies are in interviews, and I always say biking. But all I bike for is to get to rehearsal more quickly.

Friends come into our lives and friends leave our lives. But friends never leave our hearts. And best friends always get to stay in the best places in our hearts.

When you come to examine into the actuating motives for any line of human endeavor you will find that vanity figures about ninety per cent directly or indirectly, in the assay.

The world is really run by the Web. There's so much information out there that you can click and keep going down the rabbit hole finding stuff.

A man of genius is inexhaustible only in proportion as he is always renourishing his genius.

I believe that - if you are serious about a life of writing, or indeed about any creative form of expression - that you should take on this work like a holy calling.

The priests and the scientists are right about one thing: At our heart, at our base, we are no better than animals.

In this fallen world, I suspect we will never achieve perfection. But that won't stop me trying.

Look at all the billionaires. If I know 15 billionaires, I know 13 unhappy people.

Smoking cures weight problems, eventually.

It seems hopeless, hopeless. Those who eat meat [at public expense] are a mean, selfish lot, and so the country is doomed. Our only hope lies in the grass-roots folk who eat our traditional food.