The only thing I'm allergic to is criticism.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

In the world of your story, your outline is like the Ten Commandments. Unfortunately, your characters are all Atheists.

Failure is The Way of Success

You don't need faith to walk on the riverbank, you need faith to walk on water.

I tried very hard not to ponder the horrible irony that I was too ugly to love, and too ugly not to violate.

I always wanted to be a medical doctor, and I never thought of business.

We grew up in a very material-lacking socialist society, but today China is a capitalist society. It's very materialistic. It's full of desire and luxury goods.

A man must be sacrificed now and again to provide for the next generation of men.

I use only essential oils for perfumes.

I didn't necessarily set out to think of a show to make fun of reality shows.

If you were going to choose a way of making your way in this world and a place to start from, you might not choose poetry and you might not choose Huddersfield.