The only thing that bothers me is if I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and someone says, 'Hey, mind if I smoke?' I always say, 'No. Mind if I fart?

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language... Apache.

Be so good they can't ignore you.

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones.

Relationships end, but they don't end your life.

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.

Marriage is when two people are joined together to become one desperately boring person.

Blues is like American Express. I don't leave home without it.

I think that's all you can hope for as an actor when you read a script; that after the first thirty pages it has some meaning to it.

When we disclaim praise, it is only showing our desire to be praised a second time.

The problem is with any practice is that it is a practice. That is why people don't win. The reason why people don't win is they get stuck in ideas, habits, and ways of seeing life.

You've got to be stupid to heckle me - I am very equipped to win.

If all people are free, all are equal. If they are equal, they are just.

A lot of Hollywood couples get married young and wind up growing out of their relationship.

My wife doesn't like Football but she watches it just for Messi.

It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.