The only thing weaker than a toddler's handshake is their immune system.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

Your past is your experiences and your teacher as well, and your future is your hope, your dream and your fate, while the present is your moment of learning from past and preparation for the future.

people who eat 3 meals a day throughout lifehave never reallytastedFood...

A man without life purpose is not in any way different from a wondering goat.

You come from the city and think small means simple when all it realy means is complicated in a smaller place. Which sometimes adds to the complication.

I don't like scary movies (laughs).

Every drunken skipper trusts to Providence. But one of the ways of Providence with drunken skippers is to run them on the rocks.

I think of my photographs as being obviously symbolic, but not symbolically obvious.

The basic theory in twistor theory is not to add extra dimensions.

String Theory describes energy and matter as being composed of tiny, wiggling strands of energy that look like strings. And the pitch of a string's vibration determines the nature of its effect.

Swim out of your little pond.