The only thing worse than women are women who tell me I'm a misogynist.

​To go where you're wishing you could go, first you must tie your shoes and step off the porch.

Learn to put your troubles in your pocket, then leave them there when you do your laundry.

Relationships are like apples: they can be sweet and satisfying. But once you bite into a bad one, it's hard to go back to the barrel again.

​Live the truth and everything else will fall into place.

Don't judge people you don't know. You have no idea what they've been through, and you may waste an opportunity to make a new friend.

​Life is a series of highs and lows. The trick is to tip the balance in your favor by following your heart and taking some risks.

As we age, the bright light of youth either burns out or burns stronger - it's our choice.

Point your feet in the direction you want to go and your life will follow.

Try saying hello to someone who wouldn't expect you to - today would be good.

If finding true love was easy we'd all have a lot more free time.

God created you for a special purpose.

My stars and my stripes are your dream and your labors.

Anyone who has the kind of inventive and inspired comic sensibility to be able to do that kind of work must be pretty talented.

I am not being facetious when I say that the real enemies in this country are the Pentagon and its pals in big business.

Sam Hellerman is a genius!

I won't sit down And I won't shut up And most of all I will not grow up

You can't stamp on a man's corns when he's got his feet cut off.

I love acting. It is so much more real than life.

None are happy but by anticipation of change.

It's rather rare when you play an older character in a movie in a supporting role to even get an arc.