The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

I've forgotten about these things all winter, but here they are again, and when I see them I remember them, I know them, I greet them as if they are home.

Lose not yourself in a far off time, seize the moment that is thine.

I know I will die with either a camera in hand or a woman on top - what more could one ask of life?

The heart's in it then, spinning dreams, and torment is on the way. The heart makes dreams seem like ideas.

Despondency is ingratitude; hope is God's worship.

The more you know yourself, the more clarity there is.

I always wanted to make a children's album because you have the freedom to explore so many wonderful topics and sounds.

Doctors and nurses seemed to have been born and raised in the hospital, with only short punctuations of absenteeism for such things as schooling and marriage.

I will jump headfirst from a helicopter in Luneta if Estrada gets removed from power.

You two are a match made in heaven. Or somewhere.