The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

Your faith in yourself is all you will ever have. Don't let anyone take it away from you, ever.

In real life, I'm pretty much an eternal optimist.

Yer feelin's is like ras'berry vinegar: if you're skeered to use 'em an' keep on savin' 'em, first thing you know they've done 'vaporated!

The best way for photographers to become rich and famous is to go into another field.

Baby, your nothing but too much trouble. Gotta bury this love and bury the shovel.

Justice limps along, but gets there all the same.

As a professional football player, I have known perfectly well from the day I started playing that every day I have to fight for my place.

Capitalism involves struggle, but it has an invisible heart beating at its core that transforms people's lives.

Family prayer is the greatest deterrent to sin, and hence the most beneficent provider of joy and happiness. The old saying is yet true: 'The family that prays together stays together.'

Prayer immediately turns us into something greater than ourselves.