The only way to success in American public life lies in flattering and kowtowing to the mob

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

A man must not be without shame, for the shame of being without shame is shamelessness indeed.

Whoever believes in getting water feels no thirst.

No wounded man shall sound me and live.

Lovers. Not a soft word, as people thought, but cruel and tearing.

Women are necessarily capable of almost anything in their struggle for survival and can scarcely be convicted of such man-made crimes as “cruelty.

My mother's blueberry pie from scratch was amazing. I still make it today.

If buying equities seem the most hazardous and foolish thing you could possibly do, then you are near the bottom that will end the bear market.

I tend to be more interested in the trend pieces than who got a licensing deal for sunglasses, but that's not surprising.

Putting women in military combat is the cutting edge of the feminist goal to force us into an androgynous society.

If making an error doesn't make you mad, what's the point? Why put all the work in?