The only weapon I've got is comedy

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.

Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

What you persistently think becomes your reality.

The scientist is not a person who gives the right answers, he's one who asks the right questions.

They were conquerors, and for that you want only brute force--nothing to boast of, when you have it, since your strength is just an accident arising from the weakness of others.

That the king can do no wrong is a necessary and fundamental principle of the English constitution.

Conclusion 1: Boredom= Flared tempers= hard words

...the crazy never die.

Those of us who are pro-life should demand more from Congress. While we waste time on stuff like this, genuine legislation to protect life is ignored.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

You can be known as Val or Babycakes.” His gaze darkened. “My name is Valerius and I will not answer to Val.” She shrugged. “Fine then, Babycakes, have it your way.

There will come a time when the gun owners of America, the law-abiding gun owners of America, will be the Rosa Parks and we will sit down on the front seat of the bus, case closed.