The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, 'Tell me about some of the people who were here last year.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

That means I can drive a flock of sheep through the town centre, drink for free in no less than 64 pubs and get a lift home with the police when I become inebriated. What more could you want?

I believe in the philosophy of staying hungry. If you have a dream and it becomes a reality, don't stay satisfied too long. Make up a new dream and hunt after that one and turn it into a reality.

I'm an old-school guy. I don't try to be too flashy.

The revolution that takes place in your head, nobody will ever see that.

It is wonderful how cheered a pilot becomes after he shoots down his first machine; his morale increases by at least 100 percent.

There is a celestial mind-force, a great sympathetic force which is life itself, of which everything is composed.

A society is only as healthy as its ideas are humane.

Inequality is a fact. Equality is a value.

I had some surgery on my feet, which has helped my back some.

Those who in living fill the smallest space, In death have often left the greatest void.