The other day, a friend of a friend said that everyone started out as girls, but boys evolved… But don’t worry girls, I hit him.

My limits know me well enough to stay out of my way.

No religion can fully accept another religion, that’s the one belief all religions share

You could say I’m so manly I don’t even allow manly stereotypes to influence my actions

Hating Britain is a fundamental part of being British

How fickle is my young male heart as it avidly jumps from love to love

Losing your virginity is a lot like when you find out that Santa doesn’t exist… First you’re slightly disappointed, and then you’re happy because you’re in on the secret

Now that I’ve reached the ripe old age of retirement, I feel it my duty to teach you everything I’ve learnt about love, so listen closely. Love is like… That’s as far as I’ve gotten I’m afraid.

By passing your GCSEs you prove that you’re not an idiot… But by passing your A levels you prove that you’re smart

Love is the one thing in this world that you should never have to go through alone… For unreciprocated love is the most soul crushing experience you will ever go through.

You´re not perceiving what's out there. You're perceiving whatever your brain tells you.

Here is the first rule of winning.You have to win small before you can win big.

I worry about anthropomorphism as a form of self-deception. (The Christian religion is an anthropomorphic account of the universe.)

Reasoning is never, like poetry, judged from the outside at all.

Yesterday Michael Phelps set an all-time Olympic record for most medals. Phelps has so much gold on his chest he's been asked to join the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'

The thing about the internet is we take everything too far. Once something becomes "popular" in our realm, it's everywhere, and I get sick of hearing about it quickly.

Therefore 5,000 new video gambling machines costs the economy 5,000 lost jobs each year

Why is love easy? I don’t know. And the raccoons don’t say.

Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer.

Love all. Trust a few. Do wrong to none. This above all: to thine own self be true. No legacy is so rich as honesty. Brevity is the soul of wit