The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

The man stood alone by the hive. On impulse he put his palm against the wood, as if feeling for a pulse.

Life is pitifully mediocre without passion. Never let anyone take your passion away from you.

The people most reluctant to use weapons are the ones who can best be trusted with them.

Life is the greatest gift.

The edge of the sea masks a clock that marks the waves.

Friends are the support bras of life.

It's important to keep the eccentric spirit alive, because when that goes, the work will go.

Writers don't have lifestyles. They just sit in little rooms and write.

Died of wounds inflicted in error by his own troops at the battle of Chancellorsville during the US Civil War. Let us cross over the river and sit in the shade of the trees.