The pamphlet was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

I laugh because I must not cry, that is all, that is all.

When you are guilty, it is not your sins you hate but yourself.

Margaret Thatcher once said, "If you want something talked about, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman."

As a boy, I wanted to be the Peruvian Diego Maradona. Sadly, Peru hasnt made the World Cup since 1982, so I guess I did well to choose something different.

Oh, that I could dedicate my all to God. This is all the return I can make Him.

A physician who is a lover of wisdom is the equal to a god.

What a man wants with religion in these breadless times, surpasses my comprehension.

The birthright of man ... is such a degree of liberty, civil and religious, as is compatible with the liberty of every other individual with whom he is united in a social compact.

I think different people have different problems and different relations to the exhibition of their work.

I've always been pretty much a quiet person. When I was little, I got picked on a lot. After I went through all that, I pretty much kept to myself.