The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.

Women say they want a man who knows what a woman's worth. That's a pimp.

When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.

Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line.

As an American, I'd like to apologize - for everything.

The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

In Montana, a policeman will pull you over because he is lonely.

FOOVIEW (foo' view) n. The ability of a dog to inflict guilt from any angle in the room while he watches his master eat.

Manhandling the open here spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the illegal side.

Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

You are afraid to lose, you don't react, you are afraid of the horror of something which can be brutal killings and such... You are prepared to a victim I can said from here!

Live for something rather than die for nothing.

At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child's success is the positive involvement of parents.

If I had never won a single medal, I'd still be skating in a rink somewhere. There wouldn't be an audience or camera flashes or autograph seekers, but I'd still be skating.

People have kind of latched on with my personality and how I play golf and how I carry myself. It seems like every town we go to, I'm experiencing newer things with these types of fans.

Sometimes I imagine myself looking back on right now and I think like where will I be standing when I look back Will right now look like the beginning of a great life or... or what

Life can change in an instant; don't be so worried about the future that you forget to celebrate what you have right now.

Mindfulness must be engaged. Once there is seeing, there must be acting. Otherwise, what's the use of seeing?

In the future we'll all have 15 minutes of fame and 15 minutes of healthcare.

Raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways.