The pedant and the priest have always been the most expert of logicians - and the most diligent disseminators of nonsense and worse.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Nothing that you confess... can make me love you any less.

It is not just the history of the Hawaiian islands but the significance of the ordinary people whose lives - many quite extraordinary - make up that history.

It was not by dialectic that it pleased God to save His people.

With only one thing in common, they got the fire down below.

He who does not know how to be silent will not know how to speak.

Growth is a long term game, and the crappy days are more important.

Alligators and crocodiles are some of the most aggressive creatures on the planet - they'll take down a boat if you come up to their nest.

There’s not a better feeling than when you have found that moment of balance and harmony when both running and life come together. Then you know why you run and that you couldn’t live without it.

Our permanent address is tommorrow.

I'm terrible with money, absolutely awful. I'm always losing it.