The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success.

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

Resisting change does not change the truth that change is constantly happening.

Those who loves you truly will touch your soul not your body

Far help seldom solves near troubles.

Back in the '90s, folks were not sure if they could trust the Web, and frankly, a lot of the services back then didn't provide massive value.

I would be much more annoyed if we hadn't won the game. As a manager, you have to see the positives and I think Pires has a vaccine for the rest of his life.

How we put our collective talents to work is a social issue, not solely a personal one.

Who you talk to is just as important as what questions you ask and what you pull away from it.

How do you fight the stagnation of monogamy and the monotony of time together?

The purpose of the environmental movement is to establish control over the people.

I'm not a villain, I've never hurt anyone. I'm just a tawdry character who explodes now and again.