The people I see on bicycles look like organic-gardening zealots who advocate federal regulation of bedtime and want American foreign policy to be dictated by UNICEF. These people should be confined.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Be yourself, don't try to be someone else. And the right people will love you for who you are.

One of these days, I won't have a painful deadline! That's a lie, I probably always will.

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

I've got a grocery bill at the end of every month.Our toothpaste, our orange juice, that all gets paid. But I - it is true that I don't carry my wallet that often.

Whom drink made wits, though nature made them fools.

We are becoming who we will be-forever.

I was trained from the beginning to work, to save. I have always regarded it a as a religious duty to get all I could honorably and to give all I could.

One doesn't remain a teenager forever.

Waiting in line is a great opportunity to meet people, daydream, or play.

A basic tenet of healthy democracy is open dialogue and transparency